Monday, October 23, 2006
Self Portrait 10/18/06
This weekend was filled with waiting, some of which was with friends and in other moments, I was alone. It is possible that there is no meaning to it at all. But, being the meaning metaphor seeker that I am, I couldn't help but think about the message from the universe. I am definitely living a life of beauty and blessing. However, there are certain elements that I am waiting for. This patience thing is really hard. Harder than I would have expected. Mostly because I am constantly struggling with feeling like I shouldn't want anything and that I need to appreciate each moment of the process.
Two varying scenarios happened over the past few days- one in which I waited and was rewarded. The other, I became very impatient and left the situation, proving frustration and empowerment. So, which is it? Should I wait patiently and hope that good things will come, and taste even sweeter? Should I take action to create new paths in order to feel some semblance of control?
The thing here is the practicing piece. Either way, the reality is that I just need to practice living with waiting. Living in the state of unknown and fear. Today, I am calling upon my huge chunk of faith to pull me through this waiting, to help me practice patience gracefully.