Thursday, November 30, 2006

one word, no explanation

I was tagged by Jessie. It seems like a cool idea- that I don't have the option to explain myself. Our lives are spent experiencing things and then trying to convey and explain what happened. It can be so tiring sometimes. So, here is my attempt at not explaining. Just knowing that people can interpret my words however they want. They can use their own experiences to imagine what I mean.

One word. No explanation.

1. Yourself: blessed
2. Your partner: coming
3. Your hair: messy
4. Your mother: precious
5. Your father: huggable
6. Your favorite item: notebook
7. Your dream last night: blind
8. Your favorite drink: tea
9. Your dream car: hybrid
10. The room you are in: yellow
11. Your ex: Acapulco
12. Your fear: infertility
13. What you want to be in 10 years: present
14. Who you hung out with last night: stars
15. What you're not: simple
16. Muffins: carrot
17: One of your wish list items: buttons
18: Time: mine
19. The last thing you did: cooked
20. What you are wearing: scarf
21. Your favorite weather: raindrops
22. Your favorite book: Sylvia
23. The last thing you ate: soft
24. Your life: imperfect
25. Your mood: fluctuating
26. Your best friend: kind
27. What you're thinking about right now: coffee
28. Your car: green
29. What you are doing at the moment: shivering
30. Your summer: strolls
31. Your relationship status: sola
32. What is on your TV: scrubs
33. What is the weather like: covers
34. When was the last time you laughed: loudly

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

things you can't control

1. moods and madness

2. other people's thoughts and feelings

3. when the sun decides to come out and play

4. how your hair will curl on a certain day

5. the different ways the same cup of morning coffee will affect you

6. the multitude of annoying ads in your favorite magazine

7. your computer freezing and restarting before you have saved everything

8. how quickly a candle will burn

9. how long laughter or tears will last

10. crazy dreams in deep slumbers

11. random invitations from friends to be silly and delirious

12. the surprise when people accept you for exactly who you are

13. the absolute messiness of life

Friday, November 24, 2006

stars all around

While we were all peeling apples for my mom's apple crumble, I remembered a dear story:

An apple tree grows in a forest under near some tall oak trees. At night, the apple tree sees stars through the branches of the oak trees, and is jealous of the stars, thinking herself not beautiful. A voice tells her to be patient, to wait, and she will see that she too has stars. The apple tree doesn't believe, and continues to stare up at the oak trees and the stars in their branches. Fall comes, and the apple tree sheds her apples, and one of them splits, revealing a star at its core, and the apple tree finally understands.

I learned this story a few years ago and it has always resonated with me. To think about what is really inside of us and inside of others. To remember that we need to be patient (I'm not very good at that). And to know that beauty lies all around us.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

dwell in blessing

We often use the word dwell in a negative way, i.e. to dwell on something. However, the meaning according to Merriam-Webster is "to keep the attention directed."

With Thanksgiving coming tomorrow, I have been thinking about dwelling in blessing. For me, this is a daily challenge. How do I dwell in blessing and live my blessings at the same time? How do you do this? The best way I know to dwell in blessing is to acknowledge them- as much as I can- aloud and in silence.

My brother and sister are incredible human beings on this earth- I often dwell in this blessing. They accept me for all that I am and love me for exactly that. How does one express their appreciation for something or someone, if they have no words to express? When I think of my love for my sweet siblings, all that comes are tears. My love for them makes my heart swell.

Let us all dwell in our daily blessings. May others dwell in the blessings that we contribute to their lives as well.


Saturday, November 18, 2006

My first sonnet

I have been reading Edna St. Vincent Millay's work and decided to try my hand at a sonnet. Here it goes:

Sonnet I

Shall I begin a sonnet with a quest?
Will it become the rhyme I want?
With ups and downs do words form lyrics best?
If I sit penning ink’s creative font?
Will love’s sensation be revealed?
Read through the present passion I can build?
Or will it stay like a secret concealed?
Will time predict the empty pages filled?
The rooted faith inside me grows
Feet firmly planted in the ground
Rejoice! My first sonnet like water flows
With all the words that I have found
Softly I rest my head and go to bed
Happy and quite content with what I’ve read

Friday, November 17, 2006

Somebody Loved

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's loves illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way
I woke up singing these words by Joni Mitchell. Sometimes I wish Joni were sitting next to me reciting her poetry and strumming her guitar. It is an odd feeling to know that there was a period of time when you would have fit in perfectly- and it was before you were born. I am not saying that I don't fit in now, but I often long to be with all the early folk singers and stay up all night and create.

Yesterday was my birthday. It was a lovely day filled with blessings and much love. It is a pretty amazing thing- to be loved. To know that you have a special place in people's hearts. I do a lot of loving myself, but yesterday, I tried to just take it in. As The Weepies say, to be somebody loved.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Liar, liar, pants on fire

Here is my entry for this week's Poetry Thursday. Yeah for today!

Green shirts are really red
They cover long limbs and longer lies
Cages made of yarn tuck me in at night
Comfort under the knitted covers
Flowers grow in the ocean
Rooted in waves and salt
Dots misconnect and misfire in the morning
Creating armies of tiredness
Tea drips slowly through my eyes
Herbal remedies to soothe the cheeks
Children wear wigs of brown and gold
To cover the gray
Ink forever flows from my fingertips
The pen, merely an instrument of illusion
Time never runs away
It trots along side of us as we move through the world
Love hides and disappears when we need it most
Behind rocks and clouds and struggles
Today is NOT my birthday!!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I believe...

After reading Andrea Scher's blog, I decided to do a little believing myself.

I believe in red shoes.
I believe in morning walks and pretty flowers dressed in blue.

I believe in yummy yarn and crafty textures.

I believe in the goodness of people.

I believe in public transportation.

I believe in love and sweet words from women I hold close.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Poetry Thursday

This is my first time participating in Poetry Thursday. I wrote this poem on my artist date after I saw my dear friend Carol. Enjoy!

There is nothing more beautiful
Than barns and beached whales
Unaware of the grace
In purple broken wings
Touched by blessing and might

Whales begin from a place of strength
Babies in water
Floating swimming struggling
Gliding close alongside mothers
Coming up for new air
Made of sparks and oxygen
Seeing land and pushing away
Unafraid of large seas
And unexplored regions of the heart

Monday, November 06, 2006

live to the point

I am constantly inspired by this amazing book that a friend so kindly gave me last year. I definitely live to the point of tears. It's a scary place, but I don't really know any other. Today, I am going to write 3 poems. That is my goal. It may take me to a place of tears, but I am kind of hoping not. I had enough tears this weekend.

When we live to the point, do we have to know what that "point" is? I am not sure what that "point" is for me yet. At moments, I have glimpses of it- love, community, meaning, laughter, emotion, evolution, God, playing, saving, fixing, helping... Most of the time, I think that the "point" is the present. To be present. It can be as difficult to find yourself in the present as it is to find the point. My present is filled with beauty and blessings. I am constantly pushing myself to live within those and not in lands of worry and doubt and fear. I wish we all talked about the point a little bit more. Sometimes, I am not sure that people really want to find the point. There is much comfort in just living, without thinking.

Well, I am off to write and sit with my present. Deep breath. Here I go...

Friday, November 03, 2006

living light

Lately, I have been trying to live light- to feel light on my feet, to appreciate the light, to let it come inside, to see it in others, to know that it is behind the clouds even if I can't see it. This is my first time submitting an entry for Living light is harder than it seems. Especially now that the days are shorter and the night seems darker.

10 Ways I Create My Own Light:

1. Dance in my kitchen and twirl on my tippy toes
2. Think about sunny memories
3. Laugh loudly with friends
4. Stand up straight as if I have wings on my back
5. Sit quietly and be
6. Remember that there is much light to find in darkness
7. Be open to new people
8. Combining words into poems
9. Paint in yellows and oranges
10. Smile at strangers on the street