Wednesday, May 02, 2007

i forgive myself



I have recently started a practice of saying, "I forgive myself" each night as I go to sleep. A friend introduced the idea to me and I thought it would be an interesting ritual to adopt. So far, it has been quite difficult. Not the saying it part, but truly believing the words- to completely forgive myself for everything I have done during the day. So much happens in one day, and as I'm sure you know intimately, we are our own harshest critics.

I think that there are two parts to forgiving ourselves. The first is acknowledging the interactions during the day that we would have changed and the second is letting go of our judgments. That being said, I have found it to be stressful to acknowledge all the pieces of the day that I wish could have been different. I have chosen to spend time on "letting go." As I lie in bed and say those three words, "I forgive myself," I let myself deeply sigh and try to take in the meaning.

Are there barriers preventing you from forgiving yourself? Are there ways we can help each other in this process? Even though it is a struggle, I hope that we are all on a path towards true forgiveness.

9 comments:

Claire said...

I felt such release when a counselor of 30 yrs told me that mistakes aren't sins. When a child learns to walk he falls a lot in the process. Is that child sinning? No, it's just the learning process.

The counselor told me that I would most likely be clumsy when trying something new and would make some blunders--that's not sinning, it's just the learning process.

Not being perfect isn't the same thing as sinning. After he told me that, I felt I didn't need to ask forgiveness for as many things. I felt that God was happy that I was trying to learn new good things and didn't mind that I made mistakes in the process.

I hope this helps you feel as good as it made me feel. *smile*

Shira said...

Thank you wise one.
s.

bradley said...

I found it also important to say it out aloud, without feeling ashamed. And putting precisely, the thing it was that gave you those attachments during the day. Otherwise they remain too vague and "unforgiven", if you know what I mean. I found it also helpful to mix it up with some chi stretches before you go to bed.

Anonymous said...

I your site by typing in Google "I forgive myself". I guess your website is right on target.
I also think there are lots of things I have to forgive myself but I did find something very surprising (to me) "not being perfect is not the same thing as sinning".
Claire, this is an eye opener for me, I just hope I can sell it to myself...
I wish everybody lots of luck with the forgiving!

Ronald

Anonymous said...

I think you are onto something but I find it difficult to let go of things that I did when I was younger. I no longer do those things but they still come back to haunt me and as I am trying to get a deeper meaning in my life and deal with things I constantly come up against those old sins (yes they are sins) and I just cant seem to let them go. Any ideas on how to do it.

Anonymous said...

I also get here by typing I forgive myself on google. Being a perfectionist, I always make it too hard on myself and suffer for no reason. But it is too hard to change really, its just me, how I am, how I was brought up as well. Sighx

Anonymous said...

I to found this web site by googling "forgive myself" My heart has been hurting for so long, not by what was done to me, but what I did to others, forgive me, I will forgive myself...

Anonymous said...

I found this site using [url=http://google.com]google.com[/url] And i want to thank you for your work. You have done really very good site. Great work, great site! Thank you!

Sorry for offtopic

Anonymous said...

yeah... how do u forgive yourself. regret. never thought regret actually happened to me. i was horrible to my x. from myself i was horrible. below my standards of how i would be with someone. i really came off the diving board and hit dry concrete. 2 years to this date. he thinks im trying to get back with him. and im just trying to say im sorry over and over for 2 years... he asked me not to bother him anymore. tonight i erased his number hoping i dont remember it. but im sick like it was yesterday. 2 years. im still sick. i hated what i done. i didnt cheat on him. i was just not me. and i realized i never knew love until him. and now. well its what it is. over and done. so i dont drink, dont smoke, dont, dont, dont, but im like perfect for no reason now. im what i should of been to him. and now im lost in a clear fog. unforgiving to myself. i know i wont make the mistake again, but im in fear of not being perfect and accept love at face value. i make myself sick. anxiety. hoping but feeling it. like being choked out slowly. even though i make tiny steps im scared i dont really trust myself. that i may retreat as i did that got me started this way. wow and to think nothing could ever break me. and i did. i dont feel any better writing this. hope floats. can i catch it.